What to do? Why nothing at all

I have entered a new phase of my life. Phase 9932. That’s a rough estimate. Could be a thousand more or less. At any rate in this new phase I have become aware that in a good many ways I have been trying to make a name for myself with books and all manners of things that are really nothing more than a vain attempt to be prove to myself that I was something of value.

In this new phase (that comes with age to most of us given the chance to get older) that I really don’t care if I prove myself to anyone or not. I am now just about living and enjoying each day and not struggling to be anything much but myself.

For now I have stopped working on the book about me. Mainly because I was writing it in a place where I was too negative and the thing came out that way. The more I wrote about the negative the more I got mired in it and the truth was and is, is that my life has never been negative. For the most part it has been wonderfully positive.

Perhaps at some point I will finish the book and maybe not. Who knows?

My new mantra of late is the quote from St. John of the Cross. “He must increase and I must decrease.”

And what I have found by living with this thought is that life does not have to be as much struggle as I made it out to be. It can simply be living each day as it comes. No biggee.

No pushing big rocks up steep hills.

Of course that does not mean I am not working on another book. Who would I be without working on a book? Such a part of me still. This book though is not one destined to be a best seller or anything that I have to contort myself into selling at all. It is a book for the Oakville Church to celebrate their 165th anniversary. And most of the work has been done before as the church already did such a book for their 150th. This is more of an expanded and revised version.

And I am really liking my new job working with at the adult home for developmentally disabled adults. Some days its almost like not working at all. Sort of like taking 8 hours out of my day to be around people that are easy to love and be with. That includes the staff as well as the adults we care for.

This job is the perfect job for me. It helps me to see things more simply. The four adults we care for are loved and cherished by God just for being themselves. How freeing is that? That is what we are all about. It’s not about who is smarter or richer or prettier. It’s just about being who we are and being loved by God.

On my time off I am simply reading books, cleaning my house, reading books, playing with a new little pond in my back yard and planting a few flowers. I am enjoying studying Excel, and Word and Publisher for my Oakville job and for myself through courses at Lynda.com. Oh and of course Pudge just reminded me about taking him for walks which is something I should think about doing now.

I am not sure about this site. I am of half a mind to stop it but who knows. For now I will just let it be and write if something comes to mind and if no one reads or not reads it’s no big affair. Life is so much more not about me. Who would have ever thought?

 

11 thoughts on “What to do? Why nothing at all”

  1. I hope you keep the site going. I do love to visit it and also to read your posts. I know it takes a lot of your time and know it can be exhausting after coming home from work and that you probably just want to kick back and relax. But I hope that you will keep it going. Thanks!

    1. Hi Mary,

      Well and of course I would miss being in contact with all my friends. I have a little more energy now (thanks to vitamins and getting used to my new job) so hopefully I will try and get back to Joy in Jesus. I have been praying about it and it does seem a good thing to keep going.

  2. Hi Patricia, It is sooooooooo good to hear from you! It’s been a long time. I am very happy for you in your new decision! you’re Spot On! Enjoy just being you and filled with God’s Love! God has you exactly where He wants you! I have no doubts about that. Just PLEASE keep in touch with us!

    Love and Hugs to you, Pudge and Buddy!

    God Bless,
    Kathy

    1. Hi Kathy, Thank you! I am definitely of the opinion now that God is with me wherever I go. Inside, outside, upside down – God sticks with us like glue. I will keep in touch. Much blessings always to you and love! I appreciate your friendship.

  3. Hi Patricia … Well I am in agreement with the others before me. Happy you are in a good place “for you”. But would hate to loose contact after all the years of being your cyber friend. Praying for nothing but happiness for you now and always.

    1. Thanks Charlotte, – yes I would lose a lot losing contact with you and all as well. I am in a good place – though of course with my up and down temperament that changes faster than the weather I rather doubt that happiness will be always. But wonderful to be prayed that way for! Thank you mucho!

  4. So no book on your life, even though it was proving to be interesting. I find your life story interesting and I can identify with it more than any other blog or life story I have read. I went army at the point you went navy. I wanted a deeper commitment to serve God but later in life and wound up looking at 3rd orders and associations and chose Franciscan spirituality. I agree with the others that the additional blog entries would be a welcome read. God uses us in different ways at different points in our life.

    1. Hi Pat – Well, I do think I will get to a point where I will go back and finish the book. It just needs some more up and I’m at a lazy point for working with words right now. 🙂

      I tend to agree with you on the Franciscan spirituality – I think this is why I love our new Pope so much.

  5. Hi, I sent an email to you. I hope the site continues, I love keeping in touch and hearing about you and the pets and your family. You are a special person, who is a bright light in many lives. You are loved and admired by so many people. You have touched so many lives – would miss you if we do not hear from you. You are in a place of peace, so wonderful and so happy for you. God bless you Patricia.

    1. Hi Cathy,

      Oh – thank you for that email! I did mean to answer it – it was so nice. I am not sure why I didn’t. Off to work and then just went into procrastination mode. Been doing a lot of that lately when it comes to the computer and writing.

      I am interested in the book you suggested to me this morning. Happiness for Beginners: A novel by Katherine Center – I wonder if I can find it at the library. Maybe not if it is so new.

      Just checked the local library here. They don’t have that one but three others of hers so will check one of those out! I do love finding new authors.

      I am reading a nice one now. “Murder, Plain and Simple” by Isabella Alan. It is the first of a new series – Amish Quilt Shop Mystery. You might like it.

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